1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:05,520
-[upbeat relaxing music]
-♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪

2
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:11,920
♪ Somewhere waiting for me ♪

3
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♪ My lover stands on golden sands ♪

4
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♪ And watches the ships that go sailing ♪

5
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♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪

6
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♪ He's there watching for me ♪

7
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♪ If I could fly like birds on high ♪

8
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-Here you go, David.
-Cheers, Carol.

9
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♪ I'd go sailing ♪

10
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[knitting needles clicking]

11
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[gulls squawking]

12
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One of the bin men fell
over this morning, Carol.

13
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I saw him out the window.

14
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He was wheeling the bin, the wheelie one,

15
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and it got stuck on the pavement

16
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and he fell over into the road.

17
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Carol?

18
00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,000
What's that, Mum?

19
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I said one of the binmen
fell over this morning.

20
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He was wheeling the bin, the wheelie one,

21
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and it got stuck on the pavement

22
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and he fell over into the road.

23
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Did he, Mum?

24
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Yeah.

25
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The wheelie one.

26
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Into the road.

27
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He's ever so lucky a car wasn't coming.

28
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He'd have been dead.

29
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Okay, Stan. See you in a bit.

30
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Have you seen my calculator?

31
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It's by the ball of elastic bands.

32
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,640
James Martin's mum was
at the Deaf Aid dinner.

33
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-Pardon?
-James Martin's Mum was at...

34
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Oh, very funny.

35
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[Mary laughs]

36
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He's a lawyer now in Bridgewater.

37
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-Who is?
-James Martin.

38
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He'd sort you out.

39
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Sort me out? I don't need to sorting out.

40
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Makes a lot of money,
according to his mother.

41
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-Who does?
-James Martin.

42
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Make a lovely boyfriend.

43
00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:10,800
-Who would?
-James Martin.

44
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:11,840
[Mary] Who's James Martin?

45
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,160
Can we please stop talking
about James Martin?

46
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,920
Is he that chef?

47
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:16,840
No, Nan.

48
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I likes him on "Saturday Kitchen".

49
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I don't need a boyfriend.

50
00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:23,120
Well, you're not gonna
get one moping around here

51
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:24,800
with a face like a smacked arse.

52
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:25,640
I'm not moping.

53
00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:27,640
And you can't keep
pining after Christopher.

54
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,760
I'm not pining, I just
don't want a boyfriend.

55
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,640
Don't be ridiculous, Sarah.
Everyone wants a boyfriend.

56
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Lesbians don't.

57
00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,520
Are you lesbian?

58
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[Sarah] Not that I'm aware of.

59
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It's okay if you are.

60
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,400
I know, but I'm not. Are you?

61
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,240
[Carol] No.

62
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,360
It's okay if you are.

63
00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:41,880
I know, but I'm not.

64
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080
You do wear comfy shoes.

65
00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:47,320
I'm just saying it's time you moved on.

66
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[Mary chuckles]

67
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[Mary] Pot calling kettle. [chuckles]

68
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[light upbeat music]

69
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,480
[train whistle hoots]

70
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,520
Did you know, Mrs. Dobson,

71
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:07,120
that by the time they reach 60,

72
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:10,200
the average human being has
lost half their taste buds?

73
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,480
That doesn't surprise me.

74
00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:16,080
So I've got you two and a half
biscuits to make up for it.

75
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:16,880
Back in a min.

76
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,680
All right, Dad?

77
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,920
Chloe. What is wrong with that?

78
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,480
I don't know.

79
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,680
How many bottles of shampoo did you order?

80
00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,600
-50.
-Look again.

81
00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,320
Uh, 50. Oh, whoops-

82
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:39,160
Yes, whoops, we don't need

83
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,960
500 bottles of shampoo, you clown.

84
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,040
Go and cancel the order.

85
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:45,560
Kids, eh, Alice?

86
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,440
Can't live with them. Can't kill them.

87
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,440
Where are you going?

88
00:04:48,440 --> 00:04:51,120
To take a long walk off a short pier.

89
00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:52,920
Ooh, get me a latte and tell
Sarah I'll be down in a bit.

90
00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,920
What did your last servant die of? Laters.

91
00:04:57,160 --> 00:05:00,560
Now, Mrs. D, found anything you fancy?

92
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[light upbeat music]

93
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Oh, that's interesting.

94
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[gulls squawking]

95
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,800
[Carol] Business going
well though, Brenda?

96
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,960
Well, I really can't complain, Carol.

97
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,760
There we are. Blueberry
muffin, take-away black coffee.

98
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,040
That's 3.50 please.

99
00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,320
Will I see you at the
town planning meeting

100
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,120
next week, Carol?

101
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,640
[Carol] Oh yes, definitely.

102
00:05:22,640 --> 00:05:23,840
Yeah, you should come.

103
00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:25,720
They've got some great
ideas for the seafront.

104
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Might be of interest to you.

105
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,520
Oh yes, lovely.

106
00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,760
Great. Thanks for this.

107
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,600
Nice to be home, Sarah?

108
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Yeah, you know.

109
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I don't know how you do it.

110
00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,320
Two minutes with my mother

111
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and I'd throw her down the stairs.

112
00:05:42,920 --> 00:05:44,400
[Sarah and Brenda laugh]

113
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:45,240
Bye, all!

114
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,320
-Bye.
-Bye, Brenda.

115
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[door clicks]

116
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:51,400
You think she goes to bed in that suit?

117
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,800
You wanna do that in an
Excel spreadsheet, Carol.

118
00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,680
Yeah, thank you, Bill Gates.

119
00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:05,800
Oh, for goodness sake. I
keep getting the same number.

120
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[Mary] That's good.

121
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:09,240
Not if you can't pay it.

122
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[door squeaks]

123
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Ooh, talk of the devil.
Hello Richard, love.

124
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Yeah not bad, thanks. All right?

125
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:18,640
-All right?
-All right.

126
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:19,840
-All right?
-All right.

127
00:06:19,840 --> 00:06:21,280
Carol, Big Issue Frank wants to know

128
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if there's any leftovers yet.

129
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,000
End of the day, Frank. End of the day.

130
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,120
What can I get for you, Richard?

131
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,920
Could I get a egg mayo baguette

132
00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,520
but no mayo, on a roll please.

133
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,880
-Egg roll then?
-Yeah.

134
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,480
Do you want a muffin, Richard?

135
00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,640
-No, thanks.
-Oh, go on.

136
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,120
Okay. How's the writing going Sarah?

137
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,880
[Carol] Ooh, don't
mention the war, Richard.

138
00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,240
Okay. Got a new car today, Sarah.

139
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,040
-Did you?
-Yep.

140
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,160
-Did you, Richard?
-Yep, off the internet.

141
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,120
[gasps] You got a car off the internet?

142
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:49,960
Yep.

143
00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:53,120
Pound Shop Pam's daughter got
boyfriend off the internet.

144
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,080
Okay? I'm gonna lease it.

145
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,760
Normally would have been 300
a month, got it down to 270.

146
00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,480
[Carol] Oh, well done, Richard. Good lad.

147
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:01,480
Yep, plus extras.

148
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,760
[Mary] Who's Pound Shop Pam?

149
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,160
You sat next to her at Alice's barbecue.

150
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,320
She had coleslaw all round
her mouth. No one told her.

151
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,200
Oh yeah. [chuckles]

152
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,960
Yeah, electric windows, fitted alarm,

153
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,560
sound system, and
interior fabric protection

154
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,920
if I can't remove a stain.

155
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:18,640
-ABS brakes, Richard?
-No.

156
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:20,760
-Trip computer?
-No.

157
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,840
Wendy's nephew got his car with ABS brakes

158
00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:25,360
and a trip computer.

159
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,200
Oh, right.

160
00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:29,840
What is a trip computer, Richard?

161
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,400
I dunno, Mar.

162
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,360
It sounds wonderful, Richard.

163
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,200
Cheers, Carol.

164
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,360
So where is it?

165
00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:40,760
[Richard] Where's what?

166
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:41,720
Your car.

167
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,240
Oh, uh, well I haven't got it yet.

168
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,120
-Oh.
-But I will though.

169
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,440
Of course you will.

170
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,240
-It's gonna be amazing.
-Amazing.

171
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,520
Yeah, yeah. He's a real entrepreneur.

172
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:57,480
He owns the third largest
flying school in Europe.

173
00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,440
[upbeat rock music]

174
00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,120
Cool, well Skype me
for the morning meeting

175
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,600
and I'll be back in the afternoon.

176
00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:06,960
Uh, no. Bazingy hours are til six.

177
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,720
I don't know man.

178
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,120
I haven't seen him in years.

179
00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:14,960
[laughs] Yes, mate. Home sweet home.

180
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,600
Well, wish me luck.

181
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:22,880
♪ I am the one and only ♪

182
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,000
-♪ You can't take ♪
-[phone rings]

183
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:30,000
♪ That away from me ♪

184
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,600
♪ I am the one and only ♪

185
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,360
♪ Ain't nobody I'd rather be ♪

186
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,360
[gulls squawking]

187
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,200
[siren blaring]

188
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:50,400
Oh, something's going on.

189
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,320
[Mary] There's trouble for someone.

190
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,720
They caught who stole
Susie's purse in the end.

191
00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:01,640
[Mary] Did they?

192
00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,080
Mm, remember the twins that
lived on Drakefield Road?

193
00:09:05,080 --> 00:09:07,080
Came to your sixth birthday party

194
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:08,920
dressed as a chest of drawers.

195
00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,640
-[Sarah] No.
-Well it was one of them.

196
00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:12,360
-[Mary] Which one?
-Bottom one.

197
00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:17,360
Talk of the devil. Hello, Stan.

198
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,520
Hi, my lovers, Dicky-pants.

199
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,360
All right, Stan?

200
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,760
Oh, struggling on as a boy does.

201
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,240
Just a tea please, Carol, paper cup.

202
00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:26,800
I'll do it.

203
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:27,960
D'you want a muffin, Stan?

204
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,200
Yeah, go on then.

205
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,240
Don't you dare, they've
been sat there a week.

206
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:33,600
You want apple pie, Stan?

207
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,720
Oh, proper job.

208
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,480
[Carol] You want your cheese on it?

209
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,640
Carol, apple pie without
the cheese is like a

210
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:44,600
[Carol And Stan] Kiss
without the squeeze. [laugh]

211
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,880
Actually Carol, leave the cheese.

212
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:48,800
Probably best to leave the pie and all.

213
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,240
Stan, you'll waste away.

214
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:53,800
I wish! There's today's cuttings.

215
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:55,240
Oh, they're gorgeous.

216
00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:58,200
Few leftover daisies from
a christening bouquet.

217
00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,720
And what do daisies mean?

218
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:02,520
The days eye.

219
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,640
Open with the day, close with the night.

220
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,480
Bang on.

221
00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,720
Thanks, love. Oh, Chloe says
she'll be round in a bit.

222
00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:11,920
[Carol] Oh how is she?

223
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,840
Thick as a whale omelette.

224
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:14,760
[Carol laughs]

225
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,920
Here, Dig-Dig.

226
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:19,160
Your dad told me about
that gig. Good news, ey?

227
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,000
What gig?

228
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,840
Guitar and backing vocals for Meatloaf.

229
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,920
-[Sarah] Meatloaf?
-Yeah, Comeback Tour 2012.

230
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,120
[Carol] I didn't know they'd gone away!

231
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,040
That's amazing.

232
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,280
Can't do it though.

233
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,120
[Sarah] Why not?

234
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,800
Teach guitar on a Tuesdays, init.

235
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:31,640
Richard.

236
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,000
I've got responsibilities, Sar.

237
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:33,840
But it's Meatloaf.

238
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,320
Well, that's life.

239
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:37,760
You're something else you are, lad.

240
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:40,960
Oh, who invited Night Rider?

241
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:42,160
[gasps] That's posh.

242
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,040
Is that like yours, Richard?

243
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:49,360
No. That's a Porsche.

244
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,880
I got a Clio.

245
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,200
Not yet, you haven't.

246
00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,160
No, but I will have.

247
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:58,280
Wendy's nephew's got an Aston Martin.

248
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,680
Austin Maestro, Nan.

249
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,800
Well, those flowers
won't deliver themselves.

250
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,640
You fancy a drink later,
Carol? See off the week?

251
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,600
Oh, I can't tonight, Stan.

252
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,000
I gotta get the accounts over to Brian.

253
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:15,680
Okie-dokie, but you keep
turning me down, I'll move on.

254
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,440
Here, Mar, you fancy little tipple?

255
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:22,760
Oh not tonight, Stanley.
I'm washing my hair.

256
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:24,440
Well if you need any shampoo,

257
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,400
Chloe's ordered enough
to re flood Brisbane.

258
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,040
-Bye, all.
-Buh-bye, Stanley.

259
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:30,600
-Bye.
-Bye, Stan.

260
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,680
[light upbeat music]

261
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,680
[gulls squawking]

262
00:11:39,680 --> 00:11:41,040
What you up to later?

263
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:41,840
No plans.

264
00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:43,680
Okay, well, I'm walking
a dog on the beach at six

265
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,320
-if you fancy it.
-Okay, maybe.

266
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:48,760
Okay. Well, I'd better get back to work.

267
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,640
When Kieran comes in, tell
him to answer his phone.

268
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,520
Okay.

269
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,880
-Laters.
-Laters.

270
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,960
-Bye, Richard.
-Bye, Richard.

271
00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,240
[door clunks]

272
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:02,480
What?

273
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:03,840
I'm not saying anything.

274
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,720
-[Sarah] I can see that.
-But you was a lovely couple.

275
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,280
12 years ago, Mum.

276
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:09,800
I know, but look at him now.

277
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,640
[Sarah] What about him now?

278
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,160
-Good job, own car.
-No he hasn't.

279
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,360
-Got a gig with Meatloaf.
-No he hasn't.

280
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,480
He's got a dog and he composts.

281
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:19,960
Oh, wow. Hand me a rolling
pin and I'll bake him a cake.

282
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,120
What's wrong With baking cakes?

283
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,280
Nothing. Richard and I are friends, Mum.

284
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,240
-Does he know that?
-Course he does.

285
00:12:26,240 --> 00:12:27,520
You're sure you're not a lesbian?

286
00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:28,800
[Sarah] Yes.

287
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,920
You look a bit like a lesbian.

288
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,360
What does that mean?

289
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:33,480
I don't mind if you are.

290
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:37,040
Wendy's daughter's a lesbian
and she's done ever so well.

291
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,120
And she's single. You
should give her a call.

292
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,480
You used to love meatloaf,
didn't you Carol?

293
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,720
[Carol] What's that, Mum?

294
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,480
Meatloaf every Monday,

295
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,840
gammon and pineapple every Meatloaf,

296
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,520
fish and chips on a Friday.

297
00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:57,560
Those were the days.

298
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:01,480
Every day's the same these days.

299
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,520
What's that, Nan?

300
00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:06,120
I said every day's the same these days.

301
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,000
-Yeah.
-[car beeps]

302
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,880
[Carol] Oh, hello there.

303
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,360
Hi, can you tell me how to
get to Wetlands Nursing Home?

304
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,760
Are you driving or walking?

305
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,960
-Driving.
-Oh, that's a shame.

306
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,200
There it is.

307
00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,320
Oh, which one?

308
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,200
It's the one with the blue sign.

309
00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:25,040
[John] Cheers.

310
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:32,520
-Hi.
-Hi.

311
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,040
Sorry, do I know you?

312
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,720
No, but I do come here often.

313
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,040
Sarah Porter.

314
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,040
-Yeah?
-It's John.

315
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,280
John Streatfield, A-level English Lit.

316
00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,440
John, sorry. I didn't
recognise you with the...

317
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,280
It's been a while.

318
00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:52,720
[Sarah] Yeah. You used to be so-

319
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,840
Fat?

320
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,480
-No, different.
-Mm.

321
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,080
Nice car.

322
00:13:58,080 --> 00:13:59,680
Oh yeah, cheers.

323
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:01,360
Corners like she's on rails.

324
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,120
Did you just quote "Pretty Woman"?

325
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,320
I think I might have done, yeah.

326
00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:09,760
Smooth.

327
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:12,280
Well, you know, nobody
puts Baby in a corner.

328
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,160
[Sarah laughs]

329
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,520
Have you got a toilet I could...?

330
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,440
-It's just...
-Thanks.

331
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,720
-Well he's lovely!
-Ssh!

332
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:24,600
[Mary] Is he blind?

333
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,840
I don't think so.

334
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:28,560
Why is he wearing dark
glasses indoors then?

335
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,360
Ssh!

336
00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,840
Oh, talk of the devil. Hello, Chloe love.

337
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:35,440
Mar, Carol, Scutler.

338
00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,880
-All right?
-Latte please,

339
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,600
and a diet water for the anorexic.

340
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,640
-Oh, how is she?
-Thin.

341
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,720
OMG, Mrs. Dobson just told me
the best fact in the world.

342
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,920
The blue whale has a
willy that's 12 foot long

343
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,120
and dispenses of one tonne of sperm.

344
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:50,960
Imagine that thing racing
towards you in bed.

345
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,040
Oh, that'll make your eyes water.

346
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,360
No pain, no gain, Carol.

347
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,920
All right, Scutler?

348
00:14:57,920 --> 00:14:59,080
-All right?
-All right?

349
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,360
Oh, talk of the devil. Hello, Kieran love.

350
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:02,920
Kieran, Mrs. Dobson just told me

351
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,000
the best fact in the world.

352
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,600
-A whale has-
-12 foot, one tonne.

353
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,400
She told me. Usual please, Carol.

354
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,240
Plus straw. Don't wanna smudge.

355
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,480
-[Sarah] Good one.
-What've you come as

356
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,000
today then, Kieran?

357
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:18,200
The Tin Man, but I don't have no silver.

358
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,720
[laughs] You look like a Quality Street.

359
00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:21,560
Cheers, Mar.

360
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:24,720
There's your USB.

361
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,880
[gasps] Oh. Thanks, love.

362
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,320
[Carol] What have you given her today?

363
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:30,920
-Matt Cardle.
-Ooh no.

364
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:31,960
Uh, he's lush.

365
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:33,400
Richard says answer your phone.

366
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:37,200
How many times? I'm a living statue.

367
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,440
I cannot just answer my phone willy-nilly.

368
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:40,280
What we doing later?

369
00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,960
Freddie Mercury tribute at the Yateses.

370
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,720
-[Chloe] There we are then.
-Magnifico.

371
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,480
[toilet flushes]

372
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,720
-Oh, cheers Carol.
-Cheers, Carol.

373
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,200
Thanks.

374
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,560
OMG, Jimbo Jumbo?

375
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:58,920
-Chloe Astill.
-OMG!

376
00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,560
-How are you doing?
-What happened to you?

377
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:01,720
-You used to be so-
-Different?

378
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:02,720
-No, fat.
-Chloe!

379
00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,360
Well, he did. You did.

380
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:06,200
I thought you lived in London.

381
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,680
I did. I do.

382
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,320
Sarah used to live in London.

383
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,600
Ah, did you? Where d'you live now?

384
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,800
-Here.
-Oh, sorry.

385
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:15,640
Cheers. [laughs]

386
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,480
So what do you do in London?

387
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,640
I'm an events manager.

388
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,000
What, like fetes and stuff?

389
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000
Yeah. Yeah, really big fetes.

390
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:22,840
Like what?

391
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,680
Well, like the Olympics.

392
00:16:24,680 --> 00:16:26,360
-The Olympics?
-The Olympics?

393
00:16:26,360 --> 00:16:27,200
-The Olympics?
-The Olympics?

394
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,240
Yeah.

395
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,880
You're managing the actual Olympics?

396
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,080
Not the actual Olympics, but you know,

397
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,480
events connected with the Olympics, yeah.

398
00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:35,720
Oh my G.

399
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:36,880
[Sarah] Don't say, "Oh my G".

400
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:38,040
What do you do?

401
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,440
I'm a hairdresser.

402
00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:41,200
Oh. And you?

403
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,440
Um, sort of nothing at the moment.

404
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,960
She's a writer, John.

405
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,920
No I'm not.

406
00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:47,480
Oh don't be ridiculous,
Sarah, of course you are.

407
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,360
[John] What do you write?

408
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,480
Children's stories.

409
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,440
-Do you?
-Do you?

410
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,160
-Do you?
-Yeah.

411
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,840
[Kieran slurps]

412
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,320
It's Kieran.

413
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:02,520
Of course, sorry.

414
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,640
I couldn't tell with all the gold.

415
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,280
I'm a living statue.

416
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,600
Oh, and that's a-

417
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,120
-Yeah it's my career.
-Sure.

418
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:11,920
So how long are you back for?

419
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,600
Just a couple of days.

420
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:14,680
What you doing later?

421
00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:17,200
Do you wanna come to a Freddie
Mercury tribute up Yateses?

422
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:19,520
-Oh, I've got a-
-Life?

423
00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:20,720
No, no. [chuckles]

424
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,320
I have to visit a relative.

425
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:23,560
He's going to Wetlands.

426
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,120
That's where Richard
works. Remember Richard?

427
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,600
Oh yeah. He's given up trying
to be a rock star then?

428
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:29,440
No.

429
00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:33,520
-[phone rings]
-Sorry.

430
00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,240
Is that Seb Coe about the velodromes?

431
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:36,800
Something like that. Sorry.

432
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:37,960
Hi, Steve?

433
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,960
Hello? Can you hear me?

434
00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:43,560
Yeah, I am literally in
the arse end of nowhere.

435
00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,560
Nice to see you all again.

436
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,520
What the hell happened to him?

437
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,080
He used to be a right minger.

438
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,720
Richard used to hate him.

439
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:55,640
[Sarah] Why?

440
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,000
Because he used to fancy you.

441
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,120
-He used to fancy me?
-He used to fancy her?

442
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,440
Don't sound so surprised.

443
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,760
-Who used to fancy her?
-[car engine revs]

444
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,240
John used to fancy her.

445
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,200
John used to fancy her?

446
00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,440
Don't sound so surprised.

447
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,240
Some people will do
anything for attention.

448
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,840
Right, I'd better remove Mrs.
Dobson from under the dryer.

449
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,000
She found a photo in
"Heat" she got me to copy.

450
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,320
-Who of?
-Russell Brand.

451
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:21,200
She's nearly 80.

452
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,920
I know, she's gonna look wicked!

453
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:24,280
-Laters.
-Laters.

454
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,280
John used to fancy me?

455
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,200
Oh don't sound so surprised.

456
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,600
How did I not know that?

457
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,720
Uh, because you're always
looking the wrong way?

458
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:34,560
Thanks Carol.

459
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,640
-Laters.
-Laters.

460
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,360
Ta-ra, golden balls.

461
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,520
Well, John's-

462
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:50,400
Don't start.

463
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,200
[Carol] I'm not starting, I'm just saying-

464
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,600
-Mum-
-He's got a good job.

465
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:54,720
-Mum-
-Posh car.

466
00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:55,560
Mum!

467
00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:57,200
Well you've gotta do something, Sarah.

468
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,000
I am doing something.

469
00:18:59,000 --> 00:18:59,840
[Carol] What?

470
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,680
Trying to sort out my career.

471
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,320
No one ever made a living
out of being a writer.

472
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:05,160
Yes they did.

473
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:06,640
Well not anyone from Weston.

474
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,320
-Yes they did.
-Who?

475
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:11,760
Roald Dahl, John Cleese, Jeffrey Archer.

476
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,280
Yeah, and look how he turned out.

477
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:14,880
Lord Archer.

478
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,320
I'm just saying that I don't want

479
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:18,360
you to be sat there in 20 years time,

480
00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:19,920
penniless and alone.

481
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,280
'Cause what'll you do then?

482
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:22,560
Run a cafe.

483
00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:26,280
Well, yes. Let that be an incentive.

484
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,480
[Mary] Diana Doors.

485
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:34,640
What about her, Nan?

486
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,600
She came to Weston.

487
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,480
She came third in a beauty
contest at the Tropicana.

488
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,200
-When?
-1945.

489
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,800
How do you know that?

490
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,440
Who do you think came first?

491
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,560
[Sarah laughs]

492
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,720
[light pensive music]

493
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,840
Yeah, I'm just waiting to see her now.

494
00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,280
Uh, [coughs] no, I'll be back Monday.

495
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,320
Tonight? I dunno.

496
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:12,920
Probably just catch up
with some old mates.

497
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,680
Yeah, okay, love you too. Bye.

498
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,080
Richard Dickens.

499
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:20,320
John Streatfield, long time no see.

500
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:21,160
Yep.

501
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:23,600
D'you want to come through?

502
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,240
Can't she be bothered to come and meet me?

503
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:28,760
When was the last time you saw your mum?

504
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,440
Uh, it's been a while. Why?

505
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,320
Okay, I think we need
to have a bit of a chat

506
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:34,160
before you go in.

507
00:20:49,360 --> 00:20:51,880
How did I end up back here, Nan?

508
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,320
You got dumped, quit your
job and ran out of money.

509
00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,880
Oh yeah. Thanks, Nan.

510
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,960
-Nan?
-Yes.

511
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,600
How long were you and granddad together?

512
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,840
[Mary] 50 years.

513
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:10,160
Were you happy?

514
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:15,120
God no, he was a cantankerous, miserable

515
00:21:15,120 --> 00:21:18,400
old bugger. [chuckles]

516
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,320
Do you miss him?

517
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:25,480
Every day, love. Every day.

518
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,840
But, you know what they say?

519
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:31,680
[Sarah] What's that?

520
00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:33,560
Get a new man on your body

521
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:35,440
to get the old one off your mind.

522
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:38,400
[laughs] Thanks, Nan.

523
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:44,480
♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪

524
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,800
♪ Somewhere waiting for me ♪

525
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,920
♪ My lover stands ♪

526
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,480
-♪ On golden sands ♪
-[horn beeps]

527
00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,960
♪ And watches the ships that go sailing ♪

528
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:02,800
"Big Issue"?

529
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:10,240
♪ Somewhere beyond the sea ♪

530
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,560
♪ He's there watching for me ♪

531
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,520
♪ If I could fly like birds ♪

532
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:23,200
-♪ On high ♪
-"Big Issue"?

533
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:28,120
♪ Then straight to his
arms I'd go sailing ♪

534
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:45,800
[pulsing music]


